Summer Sizzler

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 31, 2006

The countdown to Cairo continues for Kate (and the rest of us).

Yesterday she danced in competition for the last time in probably a year. There was a Summer Sizzler in Hackensack, NJ yesterday and we all attended. Mikey, her dance partner, bused up from D.C. Saturday night and at the crack of dawn Sunday, we were rocketing through I-95, making the trip in a crisp 50 minutes, arriving just before 8.

They danced quite a bit early on and then there was a loooong break before they were scheduled to compete. The morning session was Silver-level Smooth and in several instances, they were the only competitors. In the one case where they were matched up against 4 couples, they took first which was a thrill.

Deb converted the senior prom dress she made Kate into a Smooth dance outfit, using leftover fabric to fashion a matching vest for Mikey. Together, they looked pretty terrific on the floor.

In the afternoon session, they tired their hand at Silver-level Latin dancing and didn’t make it to the final round. They had fun, recognized their flaws and realized that with minimal rehearsal over the summer they were still competitive. They’re already scheming how quickly they can get back into competition shape after her return from the Middle East in June.

Robbie had never seen Kate dance competitively before and he was pretty fascinated by the whole thing.

We watched, cheered, foraged for lunch (you know how hard it is to find a functioning deli in Hackensack on a Sunday?), snapped pictures and generally had a fine day. It was a long one, too. We returned home after 5 and after a break, set about to barbecue up some fine food.

After dinner and dessert, we sacked out on the couch to watch My Favorite Year (one of my favorite films and one Kate and Mikey had never seen). Mikey fell asleep at one point, no surprise, but at least Kate enjoyed it.

With competition done and both economics and summer camp counseling drawing to a close, all thoughts turn to packing, organizing, and making certain nothing is left unattended to.

Is the Price Worth It?

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 28, 2006

Money Magazine named Fairfield the 9th best place to live in the United States. It’s great news, it’ll help real estate values and everyone has reason to be proud.

However, there’s a price to be paid for such attention.

This morning, I was walking along Post Road, one of the town’s two main drags, and was astonished to realize that the number of locally owned stores was rapidly dwindling. The small building that housed Fairfield Glass and a dance studio had been torn down and the workers were halfway done constructing a new building that would be anchored by a bank. In fact, the number of bank braches taking root in town reminded me of weeds settling in among the other businesses.

Another structure, across town, has housed a local grocery for years. Their lease is up on July 31 and the landlord jacked the rates up much higher. Why? Because he can, since, after all, Fairfield is a desirable place to live and do business.

The IGA was beloved by the elder citizens in that neighborhood and the owner had a nice rapport with them. The landlord, though, wanted more revenue and word leaked he was speaking with Walgreen’s and CVS. Julie DeMarco, my pal on the RTM, and several others, led a massive letter writing campaign to convince the landlord to deal fairly with the IGA and also put the pharmacies on notice that they were not welcome.

The local officials made numerous calls and applied as much pressure as they could, but it was a private matter so they could only do so much.

Word leaked last week that both CVS and Walgreen’s were going to bow to the pressure. People were cautiously overjoyed.

This morning the death knell was reported in the paper. Despite finally meeting the landlord’s asking price, the IGA was told their business was no longer desired. They would have to vacate by September 1 so Walgreen’s could begin t renovate the building and move in.

There’s a price to pay for being so desirable.

Fairfield has lost many of the “Mom and Pop” stores over the nearly fourteen years I’ve lived in town. The vanishing has quickened over the last year. Two of the town’s long time old style bars closed within weeks of each other in early summer. The restaurant Kate waitressed at a few summers back, also shuttered it doors. Other businesses have been displaced time and again as more chains move in to town.

There’s nothing wrong with chains. But as rents rise across town, since after all we’re a desirable place, those are increasingly the only ones who can afford to do business here. As a result, the town’s unique character, one of the reasons we placed high on the magazine’s list, will fade away and we’ll be indistinguishable from so many other towns up and down the Eastern seaboard.

There’s a price to pay, and some times you have to wonder if it’s worth it.

People are Noticing

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 26, 2006

My long time pal, Tony Isabella, continues to remain a friend and a fan. The following appears over at the Comics Buyer’s Guide website.

TONY’S OTHER ONLINE TIPS
for Monday, July 31, 2006

Back in the day, way back in the day, when Comic Buyer’s Guide was a weekly tabloid and a recent acquisition of Krause Publications of Iola, Wisconsin, I wrote a column called “I Cover The Newsstand.” For the column, I would search through the non-comics magazines and other publications that were part of the enormous product mix at my Cosmic Comics store, hunting for items of interest to comics fans. It was as ephemeral a column as you could imagine, notable mostly for the second-rate hard-boiled private eye persona I would assume for its introductory paragraphs.

Back then, I got a kick out of tabloid newspapers like the National Enquirer, The Globe, The Star, The Sunand, especially, the wild and wacky Weekly World Ness with its reports of UFOs, sea monsters, alien visitors, and Bat Boy. After I closed the store and retired the column, I rarely even glanced at those tabloids, though, every few years. I’d buy a copy of Weekly World Ness when a particularly goofy headline caught my eye.

Fast forward to 2006. Weekly World Ness once again manifests on my personal radar by virtue of comics friends and acquaintances going to work for it. Jeff Rovin, the editor of Martin Goodman’s short-lived Atlas Comics in the mid-1970s, is the editor-in-chief. Long-time DC Comics editor and writer Paul Kupperberg, is the tabloid’s senior editor. Bob Greenberger, another former DC editor, writes for the paper under his own name and various aliases. I rediscover the tabloid when Bob uses – with my permission – my name in one of his “Matthew Daemon” articles. I pick up a couple of issues of the paper before and after my featured appearance and, next thing you know, I’m a subscriber.

Weekly World Ness [American Media; $2.99 per issue] is always good for laughs in the form of articles like “T-Rex Terrorizes Trailer Park” and “Vampire Cat Captured!” But, also worth noting are the comics references in the paper, the comics pros contributing to it, and its weekly comics features.

Recent articles have included a piece on the discovery of the first comic book ever – written and drawn by Michelangelo – and another on the public outrage over a new comics title starring a super-hero who not only fights evil in the nude, but who also has the power to strip his fearsome foes buck naked in seconds. The first article was illustrated by Mike Kaluta, the second by Dick Giordano. John Byrne has also contributed spot drawings to the paper.

There are three half-page comic strips running weekly in the paper. After a long run as an ongoing prose feature, most recently written by Greenberger, ghostbuster “Matthew Daemon” is now being written and drawn by Mike Collins. It was in one of Greenberger’s Daemon prose piece that I made my guest appearance.

“Spycat” was created by Dick Siegel and is currently being drawn by Ernie Colon, probably best known for his work on Richie Rich. The title hero spends most of his time battling terrorists in Iraq and other Middle East locales.

“The New Adventures of Bat Boy” stars the beloved creature who was a fixture of Weekly World Ness covers for years. Danielle Corsetto is doing a great job fleshing out Bat Boy’s history and supporting cast. I’d love to see her create a full-length Bat-Boy comic book. Half-a-page per week isn’t enough for me.

“Weird Picture Search” by Sergio Aragones is a full-page attraction week after week. Hidden within these incredibly detailed drawings are specific objects to be located by readers. A scene of animals performing an opera will have ten hidden treble clefs. A look at a witch’s den will have ten hidden broomsticks. As is usually the case with his drawings, Aragones includes other visual gags for his sharp-eyed readers. If you look closely, you’ll can see his “Groo the Wanderer” character in the witch’s den piece.

Weekly World Ness is a fun way to kill a half-hour once a week. I recommend checking out an issue and, if you enjoy it, get a yearly subscription that will bring your per-issue cost down to a bargain 75 cents. On our usual scale of zero to five, this check-out-line classic earns three out of five Tonys.

How I Spent my Birthday Evening

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 25, 2006

I think I’m getting the hang of this.

This being an active voice on the RTM. Last night I gave up birthday cake with the family in order to attend the monthly meeting. Based on the committee meeting last week, I knew this was going to be a long, probably contentious one.

At caucus, I found myself rather vocal for one of the issues and then vented over the Board of Ed already pointing fingers in the press for the larger-than-expected enrollments, claiming if they only hadn’t had their budget trimmed they’d be able to have smaller class sizes. I see trouble ahead on that front.

Anyway, our meeting proper started off on a self-congratulatory note since Money Magazine named Fairfield the 9th best town to live in America (and first in the entire northeast).

The first item was a modification of language to the retirement documents for Firemen and Policemen, allowing retirees to do part time work for the town without their benefits being affected. Since the jobs under discussion are things like crossing guards, it’s not like people will be retiring early to get their pension and then fight one another for a $12 per hour job with crappy hours. Still, this merited some spirited debate as one suggested this would lead to cronyism and others worried that available non-former town employees would be ineligible for jobs. Of course, this all started because the jobs were being advertised because no one was lining up to be a Starter at the Golf Course.

The next item was the one I was most passionate about. For the second time we were dealing with a bonding issue, providing funds to buy technology for both the town and the schools. As I mentioned last week, the Board of Ed and Central office have a perception problem that needs addressing. Like I expected, my fellow Representatives jumped all over the bonding on several fronts including using this to beat up on the school side for all sorts of problems.

I had already been convinced by the town’s IT leader that the town side desperately needed the money to upgrade six servers among other issues. At caucus I argued several points, including the need to make sure the townside not suffer for the RTM’s frustration with the Board. We had discussed amending the item to just fund the town side and chose to pocket the notion until we had a sense of the body. Well, once the beating up started, I checked with our Assistant Majority leader and got the nod to try the amendment. So, feeling unexpectedly nervous about making the move, I got up, said my piece, proposed the amendment and sat down.

Sure enough, one official after another got up to stress the need and importance of the full funding measure. Only one person spoke out in favor or my plan. I could tell I was going to get shot down and a role call vote had it 7-29. On the other hand, the additional levelheaded debate seemed to work and the full measure overwhelmingly passed so I felt that I took one for the team and everyone got his or her money.

We moved through the other items without too much trouble until we got to the fire suppression expansion plans. We were being asked for additional funds to expand the program to cover additional streets plus make up the difference for rising paving costs. All well and good until one rep got up to argue things weren’t as they seemed. Some streets, he said, had been ignored, others not covered enough. He proposed an amendment to change some of the specs, the First Selectman asked him to alter the specs, which he agreed to. Then our Fire Chief basically said the Selectman’s idea wasn’t workable. And the debate raged on but at no time did the rep point out his street and home was affected, we had to figure this out late in the process on our own and to me that was disingenuous.

Five people sat through the entire proceedings since they wanted to make sure the funding was passed and their street was properly protected. As things heated up, our Moderator quietly suggested to the Minority Leader that we cool people off with a caucus. As we filed out, the neighbors admitted they were impressed by our volunteerism and putting up with the political process.

In the end, the silly amendment was withdrawn in lieu of three RTM members being appointed liaisons to the project, ensuring the money was being well spent and the right streets were protected in the right ways.

We gaveled business closed around 11:20.

Then, my second meeting started.

The Zoning Ordinance Committee convened for its organizational meeting, as announced, and we quickly reviewed what was required of us. I was named chair (largely because no one else wanted it) and we picked next Monday for our first meeting. This should be interesting.

I was one of four winding up going out for the “socialable soda”, a nice way to wind down a long, late night that ultimately left the town in better shape – we’re going to build some senior housing, we’re upgrading the technology in town, we’ve approved the final funds to finish rebuilding a bridge and more homes will be protected without endangering our firefighters. A long, tiring night, but certainly a worthwhile way to welcome my 48th year.

Birthday Notes

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 24, 2006

Turning 48 isn’t a big deal, another number truth to tell. However, a pal sent me this link and it’s kinda neat to see who I share the day with.

You said your birthday is 7 / 24 / 1958 which means you are 48 years old and about:

41 years 9 months younger than Walter Cronkite, age 89
37 years 1 month younger than Nancy Reagan, age 84
34 years 1 month younger than George Herbert Bush, age 81
26 years 10 months younger than Barbara Walters, age 74
24 years 8 months younger than Larry King, age 72
18 years 6 months younger than Ted Koppel, age 66
15 years 1 month younger than Geraldo Rivera, age 62
12 years 1 month younger than George W. Bush, age 59
7 years 0 months younger than Jesse Ventura, age 54
2 years 9 months younger than Bill Gates, age 50
2 years 1 month older than Cal Ripken Jr., age 45
7 years 11 months older than Mike Tyson, age 39
12 years 0 months older than Jennifer Lopez, age 35
17 years 5 months older than Tiger Woods, age 30
23 years 11 months older than Prince William, age 23

and that you were:

43 years old at the time of the 9/11 attack on America
41 years old on the first day of Y2K
39 years old when Princess Diana was killed in a car crash
36 years old at the time of Oklahoma City bombing
35 years old when O. J. Simpson was charged with murder
34 years old at the time of the 93 bombing of the World Trade Center
32 years old when Operation Desert Storm began
31 years old during the fall of the Berlin Wall
27 years old when the space shuttle Challenger exploded
25 years old when Apple introduced the Macintosh
24 years old during Sally Ride’s travel in space
22 years old when Pres. Reagan was shot by John Hinckley, Jr.
21 years old at the time the Iran hostage crisis began
17 years old on the U.S.’s bicentennial Fourth of July
16 years old when President Nixon left office
13 years old when Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot
10 years old at the time the first man stepped on the moon
9 years old when Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated
7 years old during the Watts riot
5 years old at the time President Kennedy was assassinated
a 1 year old when Hawaii was admitted as 50th of the United States

What a Day!

Posted by Bob Greenberger on

On Sunday, I stumbled downstairs to make the coffee and get the day started. As I walked into the kitchen, I saw a bag of NY Mets’ branded peanuts, two three-packs of Cracker Jack and atop the stack, an envelope from Stub Hub. Within the envelope were four tickets to the day’s Mets game along with a pre-paid parking pass.

My brother arranged for the tickets, the family arranged the surprise. Apparently, this has been in the works for two months and Deb made certain the day was clear. Of course, she didn’t align the game with the fact that Kate’s dance partner was spending the weekend with us as they prepared for next week’s New Jersey competition. He was brought in as a co-conspirator.

The previous night, for the first time, the surprise was almost spoiled. We attended a showing of A Prairie Home Companion (a movie more entertaining than I ever imagined) and saw friends. Janet says to Deb, “I saw you at Shaw’s but I guess you didn’t see me.” Since I had done the food shopping earlier in the day, I gave her a look but she tried to cover it. I suspected it was birthday-related but not certain how.

Anyway, Kate comes downstairs and to celebrate, makes everyone blueberry pancakes. I’m assembling sandwiches and we’re all on the go since we now have schedules to keep. By 10, we’re on the highway and by 10:50 we’re safely parked at Shea. (I’m surprised to see that they’ve already started digging up the parking lot where the new stadium is to be constructed.)

We put Mikey on the 7 into Manhattan and then que up to enter the stadium nice and early, hoping to catch batting practice. It’s somewhat cool and very gray thanks to heavy cloud cover but it’s expected to be a dry day. First, security sends me back to the car with our soda cans and then we get to our seats to learn BP was canceled. Our seats are Field Level, just passed the infield dirt, about twelve rows back. Terrific. The kids spend the next hour or more camped out by the Mets’ dugout, hoping for autographs. No such luck. Deb’s brought her digital camera and happily snapped away throughout the game.

The Mets are playing the Astros and we are treated to Roy Oswalt, a quality pitcher, taking on rookie Mike Pelfrey. Despite the home team jumping out to a 3-0 lead, they play sloppily, without any real energy and slowly give way to the Astros, ultimately losing 8-4. The vaunted bullpen failed to throw strikes and Aaron Heilman actually let a runner reach base by jogging and not running to first with the ball. It wasn’t pretty.

Around the fifth inning, Kate tugs on my arm and yanks me to look at the scoreboard. There it says Happy Birthday Bob Greenberger. She had written them weeks ago – her contribution to the day – and crossed her fingers since the Mets accept the wishes but makes no guarantees about actually running the names. After attending games there for 40 years, I finally see my name on the scoreboard. Talk about cool.

Despite the loss, we enjoyed the day immensely. The drive home was uneventful and we then dined out at Taco Loco, a Mexican restaurant we haven’t been to in years. Before leaving to eat, I received my gifts (basically Sunday was my birthday since we’re all busy today, the real birthday): some books, some CDs, a new polo shirt and a pair of fuzzy dice with the Mets logo which will decorate my WWN cube.

You can’t ask for a better celebration.

Abusing Their Position

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 21, 2006

I’ve been meaning to write about this but have found myself busier than usual and I’m not even at the San Diego Comics Con.

A few days ago, I was incensed to see that Congress was attempting to limit the scope of the Federal judiciary system. The House of Representatives voted 260-167 to prevent Federal Courts from considering challenges to the Pledge of Allegiance.

The Pledge was first introduced in 1892 when Francis Bellamy, a private citizen, drafted it to use while Chairman of the State Superintendents of Education, a part of the National Education Association. The original wording was, “I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The Pledge caught on and spread. In 1923, the first alteration occurred at the National Flag Conference when “my flag” became – over Bellamy’s objections — “the flag of the United States of America.”

Then, in 1954, at the height of Cold War hysteria when we’d do anything to prove we were worthier creatures than the godless Communists, the Knights of Columbus massed a huge campaign to add the word “under God”.

I’ve always found the addition of those words troublesome because they weren’t added for anything other than political reasons. To some, the words meant the pledge had become a public prayer.

The challenge currently before the Courts rankles the country’s conservatives because people dare to think differently. People dare to express individual thought or choose to express their affection or disgust with the leadership of this country by acts such as the burning of the American Flag.

The Conservatives whine about “activist judges” when those every judges rule regularly on how the laws passed at the local, state and federal level embrace or embarrass the Constitution. 50 years ago, conservatives no doubt complained bitterly when “activist judges” struck down segregation, integrated the schools or upheld a woman’s right to choose.

And when the conservatives get riled up, they go on the warpath and try to dictate to the rest of us how to live and think. The Conservative Right Wing has such a hold over the Republican Party that the vote this week went pretty much along part lines. A similar bill in the Senate has wisely never even made it out of committee.

The Founding Fathers created the system to ensure checks and balances between the Executive, Legislative and Judiciary branches and I am deeply offended one is trying to enact laws to inhibit the other from doing its duty. When one branch exceeds it charter, such as the Executive branch’s warrantless searches, that’s one thing. When a court is told what cases it can and cannot hear, that’s something else entirely.

It’s something we need to be vigilant about and make certain that those in favor of laws that restrict our freedoms in favor of a specific ideology be exposed, criticized and hopefully, drummed out of office.

Bad Perceptions

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 19, 2006

At our Committee meetings on Monday, it became apparent that the Board of Education and Central Office have a serious perception problem to overcome.

The July RTM meeting was supposed to be a light one—in fact, we were hoping to do a Committee Meeting of the Whole prior to the our meeting on the 24th to give us a break. The Call, though, kept growing with various items requiring our attention and action.

So, Monday night I ducked out of the heat and headed over to Town Hall. Fortunately, we were meeting in combined committees to save our presenters some wear and tear, since a mere 3 members of the Finance Committee were present.

We worked our way through the items, most of which merited some questioning and consideration but the one that derailed us involved the schools. Back during the budget process, there was a bonding request for $300,000 in order to buy technology for the schools and the town. Despite being told for the previous two budget cycles that the RTM disliked routine items such as buying technology being bonded, here it was again. So, rather than vote on the substance, the RTM rejected the bonding request, sending a signal.

The request was trimmed to $260,000 and was resubmitted to the Board of Finance. They extracted a promise from First Selectman Flatto and Superintendent Clark that this would never, ever be bonded again. To sure his sincerity, Ken drafted and issued a new policy on what should and should not be bonded going forward. Still, we were being asked to approve this one last bonding request so the schools won’t fall further behind.

Once we got done quizzing people on the merits of bonding, we got to the substance of the request. A little more than half the money would go to schools, fulfilling only half of their original technology request with the remainder going to the town which is also behind on its hardware and software needs.

It became clear that the majority of the RTM is convinced the Schools play fast and loose with their money and if they really wanted to, could find the spare cash within their existing budget. After all, now that the current fiscal year has closed, it turns out there was plenty of cash leftover which got transferred from account to account to balance the accounts that actually came up short.

I fear the matter will be shot down next Monday, not because anyone wants to short-change the teachers or students, but because they feel the school side has drained more than enough taxpayer money over the last few years. The Board pleads poverty every year but always manages to find the money they need for things important to them – or that is what the RTM thinks. Whatever the reality, the Superintendent has a lot of fence mending to do between now and next Spring.

Forget that if the bonding issue is shot down again school will come back next year with a huge request to “catch up” making next year’s budget fatter or that the town will get screwed in the process. This debate alone should prolong the night’s meeting.

At least the Committee night ended on a positive note as the wonderful Julie DeMarco showed me a ton of research she had done for our Ordnance Committee, which will have its first organizational meeting mere moments after the RTM meeting adjourns next week.

Sunny & Jesse Sitting in a Tree…

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 18, 2006

I’m a fan of continuity and shared universes. Always have been, always will be, I suppose.

I’m one of those people who enjoys the sly wink and nod when elements of one universe are snuck into another.

As a result, I’ve been watching with slightly more than idle curiosity how Robert B. Parker has been expanding the world of Spenser. First, he created Jesse Stone, another heroic male with issues, and set him in the same world, using the cops Belson and Quirk to link them together. Similarly, he created Sunny Randall for the actress Helen Hunt, and plopped her in the same world, using the same cops.

With each passing book in the Stone and Randall series, the world shave meshed closer and closer. Sunny now sees Spenser’s main squeeze, Dr. Susan Silverman, as her shrink while Stone has dallied with top lawyer Rita Fiore. Spenser and Stone have even crossed paths but never formally worked together.

Parker’s latest, Blue Screen, takes a big leap and pairs up Jesse and Sunny as lovers. While ostensibly an entry in the Sunny series, it really is the beginning of something entirely new. In the last Stone novel, Night Passage, we were led to believe that Jesse and his ex-wife might have a chance together. Here, time has passed, and Jesse has learned she is now sleeping with the new station manager where she works. To him, this is a final straw.

Sunny, meantime, also closes the door on her ex-husband, Richie, when she hears that he and his new wife are expecting a child.

She carries this baggage with her when a bodyguard job turns into murder investigation. Her charge, an Amazon of a woman with some self-esteem issues, may be a murder suspect when her assistant is found murdered. Sunny is engaged to shift from protector to investigator and finds sparks when she first speaks with Stone, the Chief of Police where the murder occurred.

For the rest of the engaging novel, we find them drawn together, coming together and dealing with the newfound emotional entanglements, just as each decide to free themselves from the past.

Parker’s books are wonderful reads, quick and engaging with a surprising amount of characterization and insight offered despite his spare writing style. While all three series continue chugging along, I do wish there was a bit more variety in the set-ups. Clearly, Parker likes dogs and makes certain people to bounce quips back and forth surround each protagonist. Is characters don’t make love as much as they “bop” one another, a verbal tic that needs some variety.

As I finished the new book this morning, I found myself real curious to see where he takes the new relationship and how much Jesse will factor into future Sunny novels and vice versa. Unless they are destined to meld into one new series entirely.

The long, long plank

Posted by Bob Greenberger on July 16, 2006

The joy that was Pirates of the Caribbean had a lot to do with the visual references to the delightful attraction at the various Walt Disney theme parks. It also played with the usual assortment of pirate lore clichés and then the icing was Johnny Depp’s marvelous performance. One reason his Captain Jack Sparrow was welcomed by audiences around the world (except my mother) had to do with everyone else around him playing things straight. Even Geoffrey Rush’s undead pirate captain was serious, even touched with some pathos as he could not enjoy his apples or wine.

Dead Man’s Chest offers more of the same but in a less satisfying manner. The long running time has been an issue for some and I don’t mind a long film if it does something with the time. Here, it does not use the footage wisely. Set pieces that echo the first film, are blown out of any sense of proportion and things seen once in the film get played again and again.

That sense of Captain Sparrow being the circular peg in a square world is even mentioned as a problem to be addressed. Yes, the world was changing and it’s interesting to see the rise of the first big business as a threat – the East India Company.

However, we then get the stereotypical island natives that revere Sparrow as a god and they’re played broadly and to a degree, I was offended. Sparrow’s escape is in competition with his crew’s as both are both stretching the imagination and go for cheap laughs rather than any sense of excitement. We get another swordfight and at first it’s interesting because it’s one on one on one but then it gets to stretching things out by putting them atop the water wheel. Sorry, one being good enough to stay atop the moving wheel might be plausible but all three, and fighting one another? Nope, sorry.

The kraken’s repeated arrival is also overdone until we finally look inside its maw in one of the film’s best images when we last see Captain Sparrow as he truly is, not performing for an audience.

The script does a reasonable job of creating a new problem that connects the first film to the third and works more than it doesn’t. The weakness, though, is that we really don’t learn anything new about Sparrow or even Will Turner. Elizabeth, at least, proves she doesn’t have a fear of heights, is a quick study at swordsmanship and is a master with a marionette. About the only thing new here is we finally get to see Sparrow work his wiles on a woman – Elizabeth – so we better understand why women thing well of him and still want to slap him for being a cad. The tension between Sparrow and Elizabeth is surprising and refreshing and what Elizabeth does towards the end is one of the more dramatic moments in the movie.

Will remains noble and swell and a fine catch as a husband but his reunion with his father as well as his first meeting with Captain Jack both fall flat. More should have been done in both cases.

Bill Nighy’s Davy Jones was an actually nuanced performance in a film filled with too-broadly played parts (including Naomie Harris as Tia Dalma). Kevin R. McNally’s Gibbs is another character who helps ground things before they spiral out of control.

The final set up leading us to a third and final film is particularly satisfying as was the final moment that had my audience cheering. (Not the bit post credits, which was cute but inconsequential as opposed to X-Men 3.)

Overall, I was entertained but wanted to be entertained and satisfied and that’s where the movie fails me.